thing.a very selfish dai they say in the bible you are supposed to rejoice when people die and mourn when they are born, because it is one of the most painful at sea go through in life is being born, and dying -- i do not know, but i believe -- i do not know. you have got to have a name. >> i only go here because you talk about it in the book. you tell a painful story about the last conversation with your brother before he passed away. how painful was it to relive that story? >> not as much as it used to be. like i was saying, at first it was worse than a broken heart. he was not only my brother. he was my mentor. he was like a father figure. i came to the conclusion i probably leaned on him a little too much, and somehow i got it turned around, and now sometimes on stage, i can feel his presence so vividly that i am just waiting to hear a so low -- to hear him start into a solo. tavis: how did losing him so early in the event live -- how did that challenge you, how did that -- in the man's life, how did that challenge you, how did that shape europe? >> you never know how much you ar